Obituary for England

A Nation Commits Suicide

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It is with regret that we announce the death of England.

It had been ill with terminal Woke cancer for some time.

England, once a Great Power, had an initially star-studded career, rivalling co-stars Rome and Greece in its civilising influence on world commerce, culture and international stability, but soon became victim of its own success, arrogance and political complacency. Finally, relying on a series of incompetent Old Etonians and resorting to a failed popstar turned-failed lawyer, Peter Pan understudy turned-PM, Tony Blair, as interim actor-manager to revive its flagging world stage career.

Two avoidable Wars against its fellow actor on the world stage, an illegitimate lovechild named Germany, were encouraged and then finally won by The International Banks, at the time playing off-Wall Street.

A series of disastrous marriages, first to the “love of its life” and obsessed with The Special Relationship, the voluptuous United States and a 45 year fling with The EU, resulted in England being declared bankrupt four times.

A comeback under Mrs Thacher was short-lived and England had to turn to cheap day-time TV adverts and sponsored couch-appearances for PRC Chinese goods- having sold to the People’s Republic its last jewellery, Hong Kong, in 1997.

Pantomime followed at The Davos Cabaret, playing the trans-streetwalker-drag Queen “Klaus Schwab” at the World Economic Forum, which won the now ennobled England an Acadamy Nomination for “Best Bit-Part Desperate Has-been Global Actor”.

In 2016, having left the abusive relationship with the chronic alcoholic Brussels, England was diagnosed as suffering from Parasitic Mass Migration and Cultural Dysmorphia, an Ebola-like, flesh-eating infection which caused England to almost disappear, as the nation state immune system loses its ability to protect, feed itself and maintain its borders.

In its terminal stage- Historical Dementia- a by then incontinent England lost its last self-respect, and even memory of its achievements, by defecating over its own past, indigenous population- and the Scots.

A last bow, following rehab for chronic addiction to Doing Good, England refused all treatments, eventually opting for political and economic euthanasia at the Bank of International Settlements in Switzerland.

Here, the former bankers to the Nazi Party, England’s semi-retired co-star from its Thirties heyday, funded their all-Lesbian touring production of the smash-hit musical, “World War III- The Sequel-Prequel”.

England’s demise is a salutary warning to other nations thinking of “treading the boards” and “Resting” actors worldwide, such as England’s estranged emigre brothers, Australia and Canada, just behind it on the road to self-destruction, self-flagellating “white guilt”, and political idiocy.

Thespian critics asked, where did England go wrong? Perhaps, they answer, because it did not turn Right soon enough.

Looking back on England’s Riches-to-Rags, “Red Dwarf” stellar career, it now seems obvious.

Despite playing to packed houses of Multiple Occupation, once the proportion of the new audiences of migrants, most given free seats, had reproduced third generations and rose above 5%-10% (reaching 90% of the population in some areas), England’s only stage Exit, Left or Right, was Civil War at The Palladium.

The greasepaint critics noted how “moderate” Muslims were persuaded, then bullied, into applauding MIGA- “Make Islam Great Again” - an experimental mime performance first directed by Marcel Marceau and the Ottoman Empire, cleverly displaying loyalty to the Koran, while trumping - pun intended- that owed to their adopted host societies.

Coming out of retirement on the South coast for the third time, England’s last encore, a doomed variety show- “Balkanised Ethno-racial Micro-wars”, began with rehearsals of the Hit Tragicomedies “Communal Riots”, revived in 1979, and “Spontaneous Applause”, with matinees breaking-out like wildfire in provincial theatre towns.

Here, England had fallen on hard times once more and was playing Rep. to ever smaller, apathetic audiences. Often appearing incoherent, suspiciously drunk on stage, slurring words and appearing as a dishevelled bungling clown, “Boris”, with a trademark mop of scruffy blond hair and shirt never quite tucked in…

England’s oldest theatrical sparring partners, Sir Tofu Woke and The Hon. Farr Right-Wing MP, were dragged into the scandal of the “Nude Anarchy in the UK” after-show grooming party which, for a time, filled the gossip columns, before being blocked by a BBC NDA. Consequently, the next two paragraphs describing government pressure exerted on police forces to suppress evidence, are redacted. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

England took her final curtain call in 2025. Falling into administration, England’s brand was purchased by Sir Elon Mush’s “USA Inc.”.

England is survived by an Islamic State and will be buried somewhere outside Kiev.

No flowers please.

Memorial Donations to the “Let’s Encourage Small Boat Illegal Immigration and Call It Charity Fund”, c/o The RNLI.

From Euthanasia of a Nation- James Chanel- The Token White on AMAZON/KDP

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